Dating after Divorce: When do you know if it’s time to start dating again?
Divorce is generally unpleasant, at least for most couples, but it can be a particularly emotional time for those who have been married for quite awhile. The struggles of overcoming divorce can leave long lasting emotional wounds. Therefore jumping right back into an active social life isn’t always easy. You may have trouble determining when it is the right time to start dating again. You may be feeling pressure from family, friends, even children, to stay single or get back in the game. Regardless of whether you are eager or apprehensive to the whole idea, is there actually a right or wrong time to once again play the dating game?
The truth is, every person, just like every divorce, is unique, and with these individual circumstances comes individual reactions, healing times and plans for action. Only you can truly answer this for yourself, but there are certain questions you can ask and things you can do to help come to that realization in due time.
Are you over the divorce, and more importantly, are you over your ex?
If you are not able to think of your ex or the end of your relationship without a twinge of pain or a surge of anger, you are more than likely not ready to entertain the idea of a new partner. Take note of how you feel about the mere idea of dating. Does it make you anxious, excited, is that butterflies? Or nausea? Your reactions should speak for themselves in your assessment.
Has it been at least six months?
As I recommend in my upcoming book, Getting Back On Top: The Uncensored Guide to Sex, Relationships and Dating After Divorce, you should wait at least six months after your separation before dating again.
You need to have an adequate amount of time and space separating not only you from your ex, but from the situation itself.
You need to take sufficient time to grieve, reflect, and accept.
Hindsight is 20/20, so if you want clarity, you’d better take the time for yourself. Forgive your past, observe your feelings now, and accept, without judgment, wherever you are emotionally at this point in time.
Now is your chance to start fresh and obtain a new sense of self with renewed confidence.
The end of your marriage means the start of a new relationship, with yourself. Find out what it is that makes you happy, and how you want to spend your time. The right person will come along if your heart is open to it, and you put your whole, rejuvenated, confident self out there.
If you have any questions about entering the dating scene, feel free to contact me by filling out the form here.